Thursday, 16 February 2012

Unit 4: Story-telling: Screenplay draft 3

Here is draft 3 of my screenplay, I'va made changes to the hotel name and the elevator, and the ending of the story. I've also added a bit of an introduciton to the story with an ouside view of the hotel. I'm still deciding over what to have in the Big fish vs Little Fish sequence.

Screenplay draft 3


  1. Yep - much improved, Joey - though in your script, you need to actually make a scene for the daydream sequences - so the audience sees exactly what the big fish is thinking - and this is a nice opportunity for some nice concept art (of the imagined bedroom and the lady-fishes) - I suggest you look at Siamese Fighting Fish for your lady-fish designs - very glamorous!

    You know, you could set it up so that beside the fisherman there is a primus stove, with a frying pan on it and maybe some slices of lemon on a plate beside it - so that, in a series of 'shock' cuts - the fish looks from the fisherman's face, to the frying pan, back to the fisherman licking his lips - just to make his fate absolutely clear! :)

    Well done for ironing out more of those wrinkles - onwards!

  2. Thanks Phil! Guess watching Tom and Jerry helps alot!! :D Will add these final touches to the script!!

    Now Onwards!! ^_^