Okay - hmmm. You know, I've got mixed feelings about your thumbnails; there's a part of me that likes the mise-en-abyme aspect:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mise_en_abyme
The idea that we're looking into a space inside of which there are other spaces, or repeats of the space that we're inside. This sense of 'getting lost', of repetition, of being trapped are all triggers for a potentially 'uncanny' or at least, disconcerting experience. The only thing is I think you're playing things rather safe here - with the corridor perspective; I prefer your more complex constructions of different levels and floors. You know - even though you've chosen Witz, Crewdson and Hopper, I can help suggesting that your work is a bit more de Chiricio in essence - there's a surrealism and dislocation and a bit of puzzle at the heart of your illusory spaces/trompe l'oeil. I think you're getting the menace from Witz and Crewdson - and that's fine, but there's something more 'Don't Look Now' about the feeling I get from all these repeating frames and images that I suggest you embrace and develop more boldy. Just as you did with your Unit 2 development, Jojo, I want to see you explore as vigorously.
Your written assignment needs to state its intentions more clearly;
This assignment examines 'the uncanny', with specific regard to realism in humanoid robots. Research sources include Freud's The Uncanny, etc.
Just take another look at your intro and see how many of the 'little words' you can cut out, and how much more tight you can make your prose-style. Obviously, your intro may change after you've finished the write-up of your research and surrounding argument - but, just in simple style terms, I'd like you to look again at your sentence structure and see if you can distill everything down even further, so there's no waffly bits or clunky compositions. More generally, it appears that you've got some interesting sources in the mix, and that's encouraging.
OGR 13/12/2011
ReplyDeleteHey Joey,
Okay - hmmm. You know, I've got mixed feelings about your thumbnails; there's a part of me that likes the mise-en-abyme aspect:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mise_en_abyme
The idea that we're looking into a space inside of which there are other spaces, or repeats of the space that we're inside. This sense of 'getting lost', of repetition, of being trapped are all triggers for a potentially 'uncanny' or at least, disconcerting experience. The only thing is I think you're playing things rather safe here - with the corridor perspective; I prefer your more complex constructions of different levels and floors. You know - even though you've chosen Witz, Crewdson and Hopper, I can help suggesting that your work is a bit more de Chiricio in essence - there's a surrealism and dislocation and a bit of puzzle at the heart of your illusory spaces/trompe l'oeil. I think you're getting the menace from Witz and Crewdson - and that's fine, but there's something more 'Don't Look Now' about the feeling I get from all these repeating frames and images that I suggest you embrace and develop more boldy. Just as you did with your Unit 2 development, Jojo, I want to see you explore as vigorously.
Your written assignment needs to state its intentions more clearly;
This assignment examines 'the uncanny', with specific regard to realism in humanoid robots. Research sources include Freud's The Uncanny, etc.
Just take another look at your intro and see how many of the 'little words' you can cut out, and how much more tight you can make your prose-style. Obviously, your intro may change after you've finished the write-up of your research and surrounding argument - but, just in simple style terms, I'd like you to look again at your sentence structure and see if you can distill everything down even further, so there's no waffly bits or clunky compositions. More generally, it appears that you've got some interesting sources in the mix, and that's encouraging.